I am the mother and the daughter
I am the arms of my mother
I am barren and my children are many
I am the married woman and the spinster
I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated
I am the consolation of the pain of birth
I am the wife and the husband
And it was my man who created me
I am the mother of my father
I am the sister of my husband
And he is my rejected son
Always respect me
For I am the shameful and the magnificent one……
- 3rd or 4th century B.C., from the Nag Hammadi documents
The poem is an excerpt from the Hymn to Isis. Isis is a prominent goddess in Egyptian mythology. A goddess of rebirth, she remains to be one of the most known images of utter femininity and empowered women. Every inch a woman. Isis embodies the strengths of the feminine, the capacity to feel deeply about relationships, the act of creation, and the source of sustenance and protection.
Beautiful. This was the first thought that came to my mind after reading the Hymn to Isis. Zoe gave the poem to me. Zoe is a friend whose passion for literary works and historical imaginations has given her a special place in my heart. Despite of the thousand miles that separate us, we never fail to keep in touch with each other. With the passage of time our friendship grows like the flower that blooms in the garden. Reminding ourselves that we must continuously live for others to show that life is beautiful despite of everything.
For Joyce, for being a woman like me. Short but meaningful, those simple words of dedication from her made me realize that this friend of mine has come a long way from her journey in life. No longer the uncertain and almost clueless girl that I met during my first year in college, she has emerged from her cocoon like a butterfly in a metamorphosis. I have known her story and I know life hasn't been easy for her. She has earned my admiration not only because she is a good friend but more importantly because she is an example of the few women I know who always stand tall with their head high in times of adversities in life. Never losing the courage and faith in their self and to the Man above.
Well-endowed and beautiful in her long curly hair, she exhibits a picture of femininity that has long earned admiring stares from men. Gentle in character yet she speaks with that great conviction about things that truly matters to her. Family, society and life in general. She has her own mind about almost everything under the sun. She married early but she confessed to have never regretted this decision. She has chosen a different path from us when she decided to marry her knight and forego the chance to be a career woman. When the rest of us are busy pursuing our master's degree and PhD, she is also busy pursuing a different kind of graduate studies, only this time with diapers, teething problems and marital blues. Despite of these things,however, she continues to believe in the beauty of her dreams. After all these years, she has not given up the idea of writing her ideas down and have them published. Tom, her husband, has been supportive all the time. She would often mused that to me. And in times like these I would always smile and just be completely happy for my friend. I guess, she has found her place under the sun.
Women have always held places of honor in ancient history. We have goddesses that personify the attributes of beauty, intelligence and courage. In the days when history was recounted around the family fires, people worshiped a supreme female creator. Beginning with the Neolithic period around 7000 b.c., women, revered as wise, valiant, powerful, just, and immortal, were honored.
They were called by many names, including the Great Goddess, Divine Ancestress, Mother Goddess, Creatress of Life, Mistress of Heaven, Our Lady, and High Priestess.The female's ability to produce a child made her the object of the male's worship; women were the magical birth-givers and breast-feeders who nurtured the young. These words from Sandra Fold Walston's "Courage: Heart and Spirit of Every Woman", illustrates how some of us today have forgotten the beautiful gift of giving life. Not every woman can actually say that she has the privilege to experience both the pain and joy of giving birth. It is always an honor for a woman to be a mother. I think it is one of the most wonderful personifications of femininity. Zoe and all the women like her have shown that to me.
With a radiant smile on her face, she would always say that being married to a wonderful man and having kids are one of her greatest achievements in life. Now, how many women could actually say that? Because of this she has earned my utmost respect. Maybe she has chosen a different path from mine. But her faith in herself and the way she stands firm with her decisions in life are traits that makes her as a a woman of substance. Zoe is married to an Austrian and this simple fact often becomes the source of discrimination against her. She has often been accused of marrying her husband as a ticket out of poverty. Simply absurd if you ask me. She belongs to a prominent family and is a graduate of a well-respected university in the country. There are people who think (foreigners and sadly yes, Filipinos, too) that Filipino women who are married to foreigners are gold diggers. If I may say, some of us are just ignorant fools.
In the eyes of other people,Zoe is maybe an ordinary housewife. But she’s the best mom any child could wish for and the best wife a man could ever have. I am not saying this because I’m her friend. But her loyalty and devotion to her family is simply amazing. In everything she do, she do it with much love and affection. A fact that brings into mind the importance of family in the Philippine culture. Many women have decided to give up their careers and invest their time and energies in rearing their families. If that is their choice, who are we to question it? If we are proud of those women who made a name for themselves in fields dominated by males, why can't we be equally proud for those who have chosen a different path? I come from the opposite pole but I have never looked down on women who have opted to travel the road to motherhood and exchange their wonderful careers for it.
Sometimes some of us think that a woman could only be successful if she makes a name for herself in areas where men have dominated. Truth be told, yes, this maybe the trend. But there are other ways to show them that we are NOT just sugar and spice and everything nice.
Behind every great woman is herself. In many ways, the phrase captures the essence of being a woman in the Philippine society. At times, it is tough to go against the glass ceilings and having to deal with the multiple burdens. However, I have met quite a number of our own empowered women who were never afraid to go against the grain. Physically, emotionally and spiritually beautiful. Witty. Wise. Empowered. Because of them, I have always been proud to say I am a Filipina. . With all the Filipina mail order brides and porn sites in the internet, I still stand firm to my belief that our women are not just easy on the eyes. We have real brains and character to reckon with. It's not enough for us to say that we are proud to be Pinays. We should act on it. We should walk the talk. Those words become meaningless if other people cannot find something noteworthy about us.This is not something new. Filipino women are regarded with respect as our history would tell us. Our pre-colonial social structure gave equal importance to maternal and paternal lineage. This bilateral kinship system accorded our women enormous power. Egalitarian relationship existed between the native Filipino men and women. Male and female offspring were both regarded as an important part of the family. Women had an honored position in the society which had been disregarded with the coming of the colonizers.
Like the woman that Isis portrays, women's multiple roles in the society are reflections of their resiliency and flexibility in the face of adversities as well as their power to breathe life and color in this earth. It’s not basically the question of who welds power over whom or who is the stronger sex or what have you. In the end, it all boils down to the concept of making choices that truly empowers an individual. A conscious choice that brings out the best in us and makes us a nation of people who are proud of our women and our culture.
I am a Filipina and I’m proud of it.
3 comments:
first of all sis, thank u.words cannot express how happy i am with what u wrote about me and grateful to have u in my life.
ur blog could never be in a much perfect timing because of my confusion.last week,i read a comment of a girl that attended UPV during her 1st year and then she moved on to germany.i cannot deny that i kind of dislike her.my other friend is pissed that she really shows off how amazing she is,how she plans to get a PHD and all, i dont mind that, after all if that's what she wants,its not my business.
but what upset me is that she said she only has high regard for women that values their career over marriage.and that she views women that after graduation just sees their diploma as a passport for marriage.
maybe some really get married for the reason of escaping poverty, we lived in the philippines, we know that this is not to be denied.but i on the other hand woke up to a different realization, after all the things my soul has through,i ended up humble,here i am,my life is for all to read, i have no secrets anymore.
i could still remember my arrogance, probably even worse than her, back in college,i would look low at women who wants to get married,to look for a quick way of escaping, when i,Zoe,dreams of conquering the world, i who is amazing and invincible.
i ran away from love my entire life, i closed doors, thinking men will just forever hurt me,that the only want one thing from me, but then love found its way on me, again, the love i denied when it knocked on my door 7 years ago, i met my husband last oct.2000 and close the doors on him.
i was determined i can make it, despite what happenedto me, determined that i can manage my life,that i can be a famous,amazing woman the world has ever known.and i was so wrong.
my mother was never my hero,she never was a mother to me,she is merely a pal,a sister that i have fights with every now and then, i have no perfect idea of what a mother is.
and if i dont know what a mother is,how much more do i know of a father?i was raised in hell.but despite the horros of my childhood,i saw my grandmother, her ever loving face,her soft words, my aunt that worries, that has a big heart filled with love for me and my siblings...
i woke up, i thought that this is enough punishing and its time to forgive not my father, not my mother but myself.and when i finally embbraced me, i saw love.
and welcomed it ii did,words cannot express how big,how selfless love can be.when i saw my first baby,i was confused, but when i held trajan, my heart swelled with pride and joy.this is it, the missing part of me, this is my destiny, i have to be a mother i never had, a wife i never saw, a parent i never know can love.
im still struggling with my inner demons,i cannot deny that i am still my father's daughter, a part of his monstrousity is in mme,funny part is, now that i am safe from him, safe from his beatings,i dream of him, i dream of him hitting me again and again,i see his eyes in me,i see him in my face but i learned to forgive myself therefore i am not vulnerable anymore,i am his daughter but i am not him.i cannot forget every pain and misery he inflicted on me, my mother's denials,but they are a long time ago forgiven, if not to say,i was never angry.
perhaps i cannot forget the horrors of my life, every blows, every emotions,every blood and tears that came out of me, but i can love, God, it can too me finally has never forgotten me, that he has good things in store for people who are patients, people who wait, and people that forgive.
my life isn't over, im sure there will be still other tears to shed, but im more reasonable now, i have too, the reason is i have caleb, trajan and tom,they are the reason my i am here.
its a pretty long journey,im glad of my experiences, i am armed for this life now, im am not sure of my every move but i have faith.i am not a perfect wife and a perfect mother but im trying...now i know that i am proud, i am a mother.
thanks again sis, you are forever in my heart.
zoe
My path may have been different from yours and I may have bestowed that high respect for women who have excelled in fields dominated by men but I also give my utmost respect for women like you who have chosen their families over their careers.
Filipino women like you who always stand up for their decisions in life exemplify our women's resilience in the face of adversities. We come from a hardy race.Our experiences have helped us to become resilient people.
Sometimes it doesn't pay to turn a deaf ear to what other people say about our women. We must face them. Truth be told, it may have a grain of truth in it. And because of this we must do our share of letting them know that the rest of us represents our people with equal pride and integrity.
Despite of the bad image that the internet has generated about our women, (Googling Filipina would eventually lead you into some surprising sites.....as I myself found out), I would always be proud to be Pinay for we know ourselves better. It is only disheartening that for those people whom we see as educated enough to know better, they act contrary to what we expect them to be. They should remember that the actions of a minority could not always serve as a basis for a generalization.
Just like you Zoe, I would always be proud to be a Filipina. They would always hear our name when we shout it out loud. Pinay ako!
Hambal pa ni Bamboo...Hoy Pinoy ako! Buo aking loob....may agimat ang dugo ko...
salamat gid for visiting iloilo onfoot.. visit again:)
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