In Defense of Bra and Panty

What's the color of your favorite underwear? Is it black, red, purple, blue or abstract?

I was at the mall to buy myself some lingerie yesterday. In my 31 years of existence in this planet, it's the section that I never skip if I want to be entertained. And who wouldn't be? It's like going to the candy store with lots of choices to choose from. Women could choose from the different colors that catches their fancy and suit their discriminating taste.It ranges from the quintessential classic black, fiery red, sweet pink, virginal white, and yes my favorite colors, mystic blue and regal purple.

I was amused as I hold a red thong in my hands. I looked at it with suspicion. Who would wear this? I mused to myself as I scrutinized the flimsy looking. tiny red thong against the light. The sales lady looked at me as if I was a half-crazed woman trying to figure out whether it's something edible or not. It looked like a foreign object to me. I know for sure some women finds it sexy to wear thongs. I, on the other hand is not as adventurous when it comes to it. With bras, yes. I love the wild side of bras. I would probably enlist myself to any lingerie company to try out the latest in bra technology.But with thongs, it's a different story.

As long as I haven't tried it, I wouldn't say no. So for those who doubt the veracity of my statement,for your information, I have tried wearing one before. But yes sweetheart, it felt like there was a worm stuck somewhere.

It's like there's a wiggling creature in the crevices of my butt. It feels funny. It gives me goosebumps, actually.

I know you're laughing but yes, it's true. That was the first and the last time I'm going to wear one.If I would be made to choose between a thong and an invinsible panty a.k.a nothing. I'll be faster than the lightning to say that I'll choose to wear nothing at all. At least it's comfortable and airy. Sorry but I won't sacrifice comfort for fashion. If they could create a thong that doesn't feel like some worm is having a fantastic time exploring my buns, then I'll be glad to buy a dozen and wear them day in and day out. I'll even buy the most outrageous design and try it.

For the meantime, thongs aren't just my thing. Period.

I left the poor red thong to ponder on whose butt she's going to explore in the near future. As I moved on to the next rack, my attention was caught by some dazzling colored underwear. Panties that were embellished with some sort of sequins. There were red and black ones. I began to wonder. Are they really serious with this? Who the hell would wear a panty with sequins unless of course the woman is into some forms of masochism? I looked around if there was a pair. Sequined bras and panties would go well I assume. There was none. So I reckon these panties would be paired with a different bra. M Maybe if I perform pole dancing for my future husband, I would seriously consider buying it. I'm keeping my options open.

I tried to visualize myself wearing the thing.

If I would be a part of a sultan's harem, I'll probably buy something like this. Something fiery red with some black sequins and have it custom made with little bells attach to the hips.On the process,throw in some miniature colored light bulbs,too. Let's just see whether the sultan will not see me. I bet, I'll be the center of attraction during the selection.

I am seriously considering the idea of becoming a consultant for lingerie companies. I can maybe even design something historical. Like maybe a map of Asia strewn across the butt and at the front maybe an emblem of whatever the customer adores so much. The choices are endless. Sky is the limit. This will be good business.

Designers of underwear are very creative. Talk about fashion statement. None compares to this. A few years ago,I saw one which was made of cotton with a very cute looking little pig in front, complete with two ears and adorable eyes. And yes, you're right. A cute little tail was hanging in all its amazing glory at the back. It was not printed. It was a cute waggly tail.

You want attention. You wear this to beach. Let me know what happens next.

I leisurely took my time as I tried to examine every piece that took my fancy.The bras were very nice. There were elegant ones, delicately embroidered with intricate designs and embellished with fine lace. You can go from cheap, to moderately priced, to expensive and very expensive.They were available in a kaleidoscope of colors. It comes in different sizes and flavors if you can call it that way. There's the good, the bad and the ugly. It depends on what mood you are in.

So what is the rule in finding a good bra? Very simple. As they say, a good bra is like the perfect man: good-looking, supportive and will never let you down.

In my case, I would always choose the bold and elegant ones, rolled into one. When I say bold, it should be strong enough to carry my assets, supportive in other words, but elegant enough to make them look very adorable. Sometimes, I also prefer to be brazen. I love lion and leopard inspired designs. It makes me feel like some predator waiting for its prey.Animal instincts on the move. So powerful. Utterly amazing. Roar!!!

If there's one thing I can't understand, it is the fact that why can't we wear our bras outside instead of hiding them. Look at the men's briefs section. Those manly but elegant designs that exudes male sexuality. Like bras and panties, if you ask me, all those fine pieces of men's underwear should be shown to the world. Maybe once a week it would be fine to have a free day. A respite from our structured environment. Imagine your boss, who always terrorizes you, wearing his brief outside. It would be a breath of fresh air, I think. I must admit, too. I am a staunch defender of the idea that Superman was always right. He wore his briefs on the outside.

I can't usually find my shoe size at the ladies department. I got feet. My shoe size would be from 34-35. It's so difficult to find high heeled shoes for me because they're usually a lot bigger than my feet. But when it comes to bras, I marvel at the creativity of our designers. I admire women who are gifted. Well-endowed. But yes, I also admire a woman who couldn't care less whether the size of her breast is comparable to that of a miniature muffin. In this world of size does matter, some women would go through the extremes to give their breasts some extra lift and meat. They think having it well endowed is easy.

Not all the time, my dear.

It can be difficult during that time of the month. It could be scandalous especially when riding a car or jeepney. Whenever my period is coming and it is as if everything swells and aches in my body, I am always tempted to hold my precious assets whenever there's a bump on the road. In times like these, I always have my supportive sisters, bras with underwires. They are always ready for heavy duty.Okay, I would have to be honest. Scrap tempted, I have done it several times actually. I hold them precious assets securely with my two hands when the road ahead is rough and bumpy. Don't give me that look! Of course, I do it discreetly. Though I tell you, it takes a lot of intelligent moves not to attract untoward attention to yourself. For those who are interested on how to do it, just email me.

So if you still think that well endowed women got it easy. Think again.

As I am writing this, my cousin is chanting her favorite mantra. I must! I must! I must increase my bust! I told her to offer some chicken eggs in exchange for prayers of miracle for her 32A bust size. No amount of exercise will give you a whooping increase from 32A to 36B. That's her dream size by the way. She would looked at mine longingly and tell me, she wants to have them, too. Okay, she can borrow mine every MWF but not on Saturdays and Sundays. Those days are my dating days. I don't want to shock my date and make him think I had inflatables instead of real breasts.

Some men wants it big. Some men wants it small. But the question is, what do you want? It's not what they want that defines you as a woman. It's what you want that defines yourself.Nothing fascinates me but to see a woman who struts her stuff with such unmistaken confidence and with a "I couldn't care less attitude." It makes me want to cheer and shout, "You go girl!!!"

I am a firm believer of the idea that I don't need to dress and act like a man when I can be feminine and powerful as a woman.

I admire women who are comfortable with their feminine sexuality. Women who are never afraid to express themselves. Be it innocent, classic, bold or brazen. It defines who they are. If they're satisfied with it, whether it's 32A or 40D, this world is going to be one happy place.

These assets might be heavy at times but nevertheless, I am thankful. I would always be proud to have them. It's a natural gift. Something to be cherished and treasured. A girlfriend of mine told me that when God gave out assets, both of us woke up early and made our way to the front line. We waved our hands tremendously that we received such huge blessings. I couldn't agree more.

Indeed, the early worm catches the boobs.

I am a Filipina

I am the wife and the virgin
I am the mother and the daughter
I am the arms of my mother
I am barren and my children are many
I am the married woman and the spinster
I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated
I am the consolation of the pain of birth
I am the wife and the husband
And it was my man who created me
I am the mother of my father
I am the sister of my husband
And he is my rejected son
Always respect me
For I am the shameful and the magnificent one……


- 3rd or 4th century B.C., from the Nag Hammadi documents


The poem is an excerpt from the Hymn to Isis. Isis is a prominent goddess in Egyptian mythology. A goddess of rebirth, she remains to be one of the most known images of utter femininity and empowered women. Every inch a woman. Isis embodies the strengths of the feminine, the capacity to feel deeply about relationships, the act of creation, and the source of sustenance and protection.

Beautiful. This was the first thought that came to my mind after reading the Hymn to Isis. Zoe gave the poem to me. Zoe is a friend whose passion for literary works and historical imaginations has given her a special place in my heart. Despite of the thousand miles that separate us, we never fail to keep in touch with each other. With the passage of time our friendship grows like the flower that blooms in the garden. Reminding ourselves that we must continuously live for others to show that life is beautiful despite of everything.

For Joyce, for being a woman like me. Short but meaningful, those simple words of dedication from her made me realize that this friend of mine has come a long way from her journey in life. No longer the uncertain and almost clueless girl that I met during my first year in college, she has emerged from her cocoon like a butterfly in a metamorphosis. I have known her story and I know life hasn't been easy for her. She has earned my admiration not only because she is a good friend but more importantly because she is an example of the few women I know who always stand tall with their head high in times of adversities in life. Never losing the courage and faith in their self and to the Man above.

Well-endowed and beautiful in her long curly hair, she exhibits a picture of femininity that has long earned admiring stares from men. Gentle in character yet she speaks with that great conviction about things that truly matters to her. Family, society and life in general. She has her own mind about almost everything under the sun. She married early but she confessed to have never regretted this decision. She has chosen a different path from us when she decided to marry her knight and forego the chance to be a career woman. When the rest of us are busy pursuing our master's degree and PhD, she is also busy pursuing a different kind of graduate studies, only this time with diapers, teething problems and marital blues. Despite of these things,however, she continues to believe in the beauty of her dreams. After all these years, she has not given up the idea of writing her ideas down and have them published. Tom, her husband, has been supportive all the time. She would often mused that to me. And in times like these I would always smile and just be completely happy for my friend. I guess, she has found her place under the sun.

Women have always held places of honor in ancient history. We have goddesses that personify the attributes of beauty, intelligence and courage. In the days when history was recounted around the family fires, people worshiped a supreme female creator. Beginning with the Neolithic period around 7000 b.c., women, revered as wise, valiant, powerful, just, and immortal, were honored.

They were called by many names, including the Great Goddess, Divine Ancestress, Mother Goddess, Creatress of Life, Mistress of Heaven, Our Lady, and High Priestess.

The female's ability to produce a child made her the object of the male's worship; women were the magical birth-givers and breast-feeders who nurtured the young. These words from Sandra Fold Walston's "Courage: Heart and Spirit of Every Woman", illustrates how some of us today have forgotten the beautiful gift of giving life. Not every woman can actually say that she has the privilege to experience both the pain and joy of giving birth. It is always an honor for a woman to be a mother. I think it is one of the most wonderful personifications of femininity. Zoe and all the women like her have shown that to me.

With a radiant smile on her face, she would always say that being married to a wonderful man and having kids are one of her greatest achievements in life. Now, how many women could actually say that? Because of this she has earned my utmost respect. Maybe she has chosen a different path from mine. But her faith in herself and the way she stands firm with her decisions in life are traits that makes her as a a woman of substance. Zoe is married to an Austrian and this simple fact often becomes the source of discrimination against her. She has often been accused of marrying her husband as a ticket out of poverty. Simply absurd if you ask me. She belongs to a prominent family and is a graduate of a well-respected university in the country. There are people who think (foreigners and sadly yes, Filipinos, too) that Filipino women who are married to foreigners are gold diggers. If I may say, some of us are just ignorant fools.

In the eyes of other people,Zoe is maybe an ordinary housewife. But she’s the best mom any child could wish for and the best wife a man could ever have. I am not saying this because I’m her friend. But her loyalty and devotion to her family is simply amazing. In everything she do, she do it with much love and affection. A fact that brings into mind the importance of family in the Philippine culture. Many women have decided to give up their careers and invest their time and energies in rearing their families. If that is their choice, who are we to question it? If we are proud of those women who made a name for themselves in fields dominated by males, why can't we be equally proud for those who have chosen a different path? I come from the opposite pole but I have never looked down on women who have opted to travel the road to motherhood and exchange their wonderful careers for it.

Sometimes some of us think that a woman could only be successful if she makes a name for herself in areas where men have dominated. Truth be told, yes, this maybe the trend. But there are other ways to show them that we are NOT just sugar and spice and everything nice.

Behind every great woman is herself. In many ways, the phrase captures the essence of being a woman in the Philippine society. At times, it is tough to go against the glass ceilings and having to deal with the multiple burdens. However, I have met quite a number of our own empowered women who were never afraid to go against the grain. Physically, emotionally and spiritually beautiful. Witty. Wise. Empowered. Because of them, I have always been proud to say I am a Filipina. . With all the Filipina mail order brides and porn sites in the internet, I still stand firm to my belief that our women are not just easy on the eyes. We have real brains and character to reckon with. It's not enough for us to say that we are proud to be Pinays. We should act on it. We should walk the talk. Those words become meaningless if other people cannot find something noteworthy about us.

This is not something new. Filipino women are regarded with respect as our history would tell us. Our pre-colonial social structure gave equal importance to maternal and paternal lineage. This bilateral kinship system accorded our women enormous power. Egalitarian relationship existed between the native Filipino men and women. Male and female offspring were both regarded as an important part of the family. Women had an honored position in the society which had been disregarded with the coming of the colonizers.

Like the woman that Isis portrays, women's multiple roles in the society are reflections of their resiliency and flexibility in the face of adversities as well as their power to breathe life and color in this earth. It’s not basically the question of who welds power over whom or who is the stronger sex or what have you. In the end, it all boils down to the concept of making choices that truly empowers an individual. A conscious choice that brings out the best in us and makes us a nation of people who are proud of our women and our culture.

I am a Filipina and I’m proud of it.

Bread and Roses: Women Hold up Half the Sky

And I tell you, feminists do fall in-love……These words make me smile. There is something about it that captures my attention. It goes to say that in some ways I do belong to one of those untraditional women as what other people calls us. Why are we untraditional? Is it because we don’t fit the institutional stereotypes of women in the society? When a girl reaches the age of twenty something, people tend to ask the question when does she intend to marry, as if this is the only thing she wanted to do with her life. I don’t know why each time they ask this, I feel the urge to give a bombastic lecture. In times like this, I am always prepared to go into war. The animal instinct in me is awakened and I am tempted to practice my Pedro Penduko moves. I have to restrain myself and practice great patience. They don’t have the license to question my choices. I am still young and that I have a lot of things to do first. Time and again I always make it clear that I have nothing against the idea of marriage. It is sacred for me. I grew up in an environment where the concept of marriage and family are important. This is the reason why I just don’t want to make haste and plunge myself headfirst into marrying just about anybody who comes into my way. I'm maybe idealistic in some ways but I want to grow old graciously with the person that I intend to marry.

I want to enrich myself. Enjoy life. Learn new things. Study. Savor the beauty of nature. Paint my world in a kaleidoscope of dreams.

After all life is full of choices, it is not meant to be boring. If you choose to be different with the rest of the females out there, it’s a conscious choice. It is our choice.

I have read it somewhere that one should look the world straight in the eye. The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else. I agree.

I am not alone. A number of significant persons in my life share the same sentiments with me. My nanay is one of them. She is a perfect epitome of a woman full of strength and wisdom. Having been widowed at a young age, she struggled and successfully managed to send us all to school. I know that life for her was not that easy but she made it through the rain. I have to say that she is my living inspiration. Forgive me if I am biased but I think she is the best mother in the world.

March is a woman’s month. And there is nothing more fitting than to pay tribute and honor to the women in our lives. In the process of remembering and honoring our women, I would like also to express my appreciation to some of the other half of the population in this world. Sometimes they are referred to as “New Age men”. These are the men in our lives who shower us with love and affection, promote our advancement and never afraid to encourage us to reach our fullest potentials. They support our yearnings to explore the world and the endless opportunities it offers. They go by different names; father, husband, brother, son, boyfriend or simply a friend. I have known and met a number of men who fit this definition. I honestly love and admire them. They are in touch with their feminine side. Unconventional males. According to Julia Wood, a leading gender communication scholar, these are male feminists who think that in restricting men’s ability to understand and experience feelings , society has robbed them of an important aspect of what it means to be human. These are people who encourage men to get in touch with their feelings and to be more sensitive, caring and able to engage in meaningful close relationships.

Come to think of it, if all of my male friends are like them I don’t think I would have to go through lengthy explanations why we women spend much time to bond and talk about our feelings and emotions. Why we couldn’t just relax and hang out together like guys do. Why is there a need for us to do intense talking all the time. Why do we need to talk and pour our emotions. Unafraid of being transparent. Open and trusting without being naïve. We are realists. If we’re in-love, then we’re in-love. If we’re heartbroken, then we acknowledge the pain. If it hurts, it hurts. We are never afraid to acknowledge it. All it takes is a cup of coffee, a bar of chocolate and a good friend who cares to listen. Okey. Maybe we can add a box of tissue for a dramatic flair. And if that doesn’t help, a friend suggested that maybe a drink or two will do. The mere fact that you’re there, it’s already enough. We talk about it and after the storm, we move on. If we fell in-love and end up being hurt, so be it. It’s not easy to be heartbroken. It hurts like no other. Cry if you must. Shout if it helps to release the pain. But letting yourself bleed to death is another thing. Remember, according to Albert Schweitzer,

the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.

When problems loom before us, what do we choose? Fight or flight? Choose the former and if you fail still, just think that sometimes we just have to learn some lessons in life the hard way. But life must go on. It doesn’t stop there.

Through the years, I have met inspiring women who make me feel that being a girl and a woman are one of the best things in life. My bestfriends, Nova, Wani, Heidee and my very own sister, Pearl. They are the likes of Gabriela Silang, Aung San Suu Kyi, Jane Godall and Oprah Winfrey, only younger. They are women of substance. Gentle in spirit but tough when the occasion calls for it. Beautiful inside-out and definitely successful in their chosen fields. Indeed, times have changed Some women have been stereotyped as an iron maiden. Does it follow that to be unfeminine means to be independent, competitive and tough? I don’t think so. Can’t a woman be beautiful and intelligent at the same time? Gentle yet tough at the same time? Women are perfect examples of grace under pressure. We are humans. Fully functional. We are rational beings and yes, I tell you, feminists do fall in love. Truly….madly…deeply…Believe me.

As we celebrate the International Women’s Month, let us make a difference. Stand up and be heard. Let them hear our voice. Ours is a continuing advocacy.

The ride ahead is still bumpy. Addressing the issues about the advancement of women and womancipation is still sorely lacking in other countries around the world. A lot is needed to be done. But hope springs well. I must agree and admit however that it is much easier to be a woman today. It’s the best time ever to be female, because we can have it all. We have real choices. We can be successful, have a good job, a family and at the same time enrich our lives in ways that celebrates the woman in us. This is not just an affirmation rather this is a reaffirmation of the significance of the persons who hold up half the sky. Breadwinners and fighters. These are stereotypes usually associated with men but today, it’s not an uncommon thing to hear these familiar words being attributed to women. I couldn’t agree more with Mao Tse Tung when he said that women hold up half the sky.

Each woman goes through the process of either being a friend, sister, daughter or a mother. No matter what category you fit into, celebrate the woman in you. Live. Love. Laugh. God has given us the ability to do certain things well. It is never too late to learn new things. Do something that makes you happy. Engage in volunteer works. Fall in-love. Have fun. Be funny. Be weird. Be who you wanted to be. Stand tall. Be heard. You are God’s masterpiece. Be proud, sister. The world is yours for the taking.

Happy International Woman’s Month.