Bread and Roses: Women Hold up Half the Sky

And I tell you, feminists do fall in-love……These words make me smile. There is something about it that captures my attention. It goes to say that in some ways I do belong to one of those untraditional women as what other people calls us. Why are we untraditional? Is it because we don’t fit the institutional stereotypes of women in the society? When a girl reaches the age of twenty something, people tend to ask the question when does she intend to marry, as if this is the only thing she wanted to do with her life. I don’t know why each time they ask this, I feel the urge to give a bombastic lecture. In times like this, I am always prepared to go into war. The animal instinct in me is awakened and I am tempted to practice my Pedro Penduko moves. I have to restrain myself and practice great patience. They don’t have the license to question my choices. I am still young and that I have a lot of things to do first. Time and again I always make it clear that I have nothing against the idea of marriage. It is sacred for me. I grew up in an environment where the concept of marriage and family are important. This is the reason why I just don’t want to make haste and plunge myself headfirst into marrying just about anybody who comes into my way. I'm maybe idealistic in some ways but I want to grow old graciously with the person that I intend to marry.

I want to enrich myself. Enjoy life. Learn new things. Study. Savor the beauty of nature. Paint my world in a kaleidoscope of dreams.

After all life is full of choices, it is not meant to be boring. If you choose to be different with the rest of the females out there, it’s a conscious choice. It is our choice.

I have read it somewhere that one should look the world straight in the eye. The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else. I agree.

I am not alone. A number of significant persons in my life share the same sentiments with me. My nanay is one of them. She is a perfect epitome of a woman full of strength and wisdom. Having been widowed at a young age, she struggled and successfully managed to send us all to school. I know that life for her was not that easy but she made it through the rain. I have to say that she is my living inspiration. Forgive me if I am biased but I think she is the best mother in the world.

March is a woman’s month. And there is nothing more fitting than to pay tribute and honor to the women in our lives. In the process of remembering and honoring our women, I would like also to express my appreciation to some of the other half of the population in this world. Sometimes they are referred to as “New Age men”. These are the men in our lives who shower us with love and affection, promote our advancement and never afraid to encourage us to reach our fullest potentials. They support our yearnings to explore the world and the endless opportunities it offers. They go by different names; father, husband, brother, son, boyfriend or simply a friend. I have known and met a number of men who fit this definition. I honestly love and admire them. They are in touch with their feminine side. Unconventional males. According to Julia Wood, a leading gender communication scholar, these are male feminists who think that in restricting men’s ability to understand and experience feelings , society has robbed them of an important aspect of what it means to be human. These are people who encourage men to get in touch with their feelings and to be more sensitive, caring and able to engage in meaningful close relationships.

Come to think of it, if all of my male friends are like them I don’t think I would have to go through lengthy explanations why we women spend much time to bond and talk about our feelings and emotions. Why we couldn’t just relax and hang out together like guys do. Why is there a need for us to do intense talking all the time. Why do we need to talk and pour our emotions. Unafraid of being transparent. Open and trusting without being naïve. We are realists. If we’re in-love, then we’re in-love. If we’re heartbroken, then we acknowledge the pain. If it hurts, it hurts. We are never afraid to acknowledge it. All it takes is a cup of coffee, a bar of chocolate and a good friend who cares to listen. Okey. Maybe we can add a box of tissue for a dramatic flair. And if that doesn’t help, a friend suggested that maybe a drink or two will do. The mere fact that you’re there, it’s already enough. We talk about it and after the storm, we move on. If we fell in-love and end up being hurt, so be it. It’s not easy to be heartbroken. It hurts like no other. Cry if you must. Shout if it helps to release the pain. But letting yourself bleed to death is another thing. Remember, according to Albert Schweitzer,

the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.

When problems loom before us, what do we choose? Fight or flight? Choose the former and if you fail still, just think that sometimes we just have to learn some lessons in life the hard way. But life must go on. It doesn’t stop there.

Through the years, I have met inspiring women who make me feel that being a girl and a woman are one of the best things in life. My bestfriends, Nova, Wani, Heidee and my very own sister, Pearl. They are the likes of Gabriela Silang, Aung San Suu Kyi, Jane Godall and Oprah Winfrey, only younger. They are women of substance. Gentle in spirit but tough when the occasion calls for it. Beautiful inside-out and definitely successful in their chosen fields. Indeed, times have changed Some women have been stereotyped as an iron maiden. Does it follow that to be unfeminine means to be independent, competitive and tough? I don’t think so. Can’t a woman be beautiful and intelligent at the same time? Gentle yet tough at the same time? Women are perfect examples of grace under pressure. We are humans. Fully functional. We are rational beings and yes, I tell you, feminists do fall in love. Truly….madly…deeply…Believe me.

As we celebrate the International Women’s Month, let us make a difference. Stand up and be heard. Let them hear our voice. Ours is a continuing advocacy.

The ride ahead is still bumpy. Addressing the issues about the advancement of women and womancipation is still sorely lacking in other countries around the world. A lot is needed to be done. But hope springs well. I must agree and admit however that it is much easier to be a woman today. It’s the best time ever to be female, because we can have it all. We have real choices. We can be successful, have a good job, a family and at the same time enrich our lives in ways that celebrates the woman in us. This is not just an affirmation rather this is a reaffirmation of the significance of the persons who hold up half the sky. Breadwinners and fighters. These are stereotypes usually associated with men but today, it’s not an uncommon thing to hear these familiar words being attributed to women. I couldn’t agree more with Mao Tse Tung when he said that women hold up half the sky.

Each woman goes through the process of either being a friend, sister, daughter or a mother. No matter what category you fit into, celebrate the woman in you. Live. Love. Laugh. God has given us the ability to do certain things well. It is never too late to learn new things. Do something that makes you happy. Engage in volunteer works. Fall in-love. Have fun. Be funny. Be weird. Be who you wanted to be. Stand tall. Be heard. You are God’s masterpiece. Be proud, sister. The world is yours for the taking.

Happy International Woman’s Month.