Since time immemorial, I’ve been known not to subscribe to things which I deemed harmful to my cultural sensitivity. I stand by my own convictions. I will argue and fight for it. There's virtue in traditions but there's also danger in zealousness.
I grew up in a society where being fair-skinned is generally cherished. Just take a look at the number of whitening soap advertisements on Philippine TV and newspapers. From skin bleach, facial wash, to whitening lotion and what have you. It gives you an idea.
One ad shows a young girl being compared to her fair-skinned sister. She was left to feel much less attractive because she’s darker. Just what type of values do we teach our children with this? Things get nasty when dark-skinned girls are being taunted for being dark. Too many times, I’ve seen some kids taunt their classmates because of one’s color.
Have we forgotten that some of our ancestors were not generally as fair-skinned like some of us these days?I can vividly remember when someone told me at the university that if I married my ex, my kids would be ugly because they would be black. It's not even the features of one's face but the color that determines whether the person is ugly or beautiful? This comes from someone who supposedly teaches at the university where the best and the most open-minded professors in the country liberally teach their students about cultural diversity and tolerance. I have to summon all angels to prevent myself from digging the person a lovely place six feet below the ground.
I’m beginning to think she’s a member of the Ku Klux Clan.I was told that it was meant to be a joke but I was not laughing. I felt it to be discriminating. I am wondering whether this is one of the sad legacies of our history of colonization. One of the effects of the so-called marriage of Maria Clara and Uncle Sam, all subsumed under the Philippine history of three centuries in a Spanish convent and fifty years in Hollywood.
Sure, I’ve heard bad stories and bad vibes about black men. I've experienced some not-so-good memories with one. But I’ve also heard the same stories on Filipino men, Korean men, Europeans, Americans, and what have you. If I were to make a generalization, fact is, there are good men and bad men, regardless of race and religion.
Men are such interesting creatures albeit complicated sometimes.If you want fair skin, well and good. If you love black, fine with me. If you like neon, I’m good at it, too. You like polka dots? Be my guest. Beauty comes in different sizes, religion, nationality and color.
Thing is, whatever floats your boat.I teach and love African history. I love the African landscapes. I marvel at their struggles and triumphs.They mirror our own history of colonization. Their history is equally interesting and at times, heartbreaking. No need to be poetic but that’s the way I see it.
Black or white, or brown for that matter. Throw in some yellow if you want to.
Was it just a by-product of man’s curiosity? Anything that seems to be
out of the ordinary or traditional is considered weird therefore it is a
subject of curiosity and at times, prejudice? Or is it?
I cannot count the stares I’ve received during those days when I was still out dating with my ex-boyfriend. We probably looked like milk and coffee. There should have been no issue on that. But I don’t think some people agree with me judging by the way they looked at us. Interracial dating and marriage is quite complicated for some. But there shouldn't be an issue to it. It is something personal. (And I can hear some would say, what is personal is political and vice-versa.)
Years later, I started going out again, not in a relationship but as friends. This time with a Sudanese guy. We have the same level of interest when it comes to issues in the society and things that make us laugh. He's educated, good-looking and very smart.But this time, I’ve heard a different type of question from people other than the usual one. "Why him? He's black. You’re a Christian. He’s a Muslim."
Okay.
If my brain likes him and my heart loves and agrees to it, the die is cast. After all, I believe that love knows no color, nor creed nor religion. I have no qualms going out with someone who tickles the recesses of my brain as well as the left and right ventricles of my heart. However, it only gets quite complicated when people begin to ask you questions. Why not American? Why not European? Why not Filipino? Why African?
And as always, my answer is simple.
Why not?
