An Adventure Called Harley Davidson

Some women want a car. I don’t.

I want a Harley Davidson.

Why?

I like the feel of the wind on my face. I love the countryside. I can just imagine the freedom of riding it on the long winding road with the fabulous warmth of the sun on my face and the lovely scene of endless green meadows right before my eyes.

It will be great.

I’m no tourist. I’m a traveler. I love discovering new things, spaces and places on my own. I love the idea of being lost in a sea of people where I can be free to do all the wacky things I love to do. It’s like a secret garden where no one else knows what’s in there, my own private world where I can be free to frolic like a kid and ride the wind like a bird.

The wind on my face thrills me. It brings a certain feeling of serenity and happiness. The only companion I’ll have is the bright blue skies and a flock of birds. It will be pure unadulterated fun. Such bliss. Such a surge of pleasure.

It will be great.

A friend told me that I might be too old to ride such a cool bike. I’m only thirty one and even women in their 50’s have the right to ride a Harley Davidson if they want to. Is there a law that prohibits women to ride one when they’re past the age of 30? And besides, sweetheart, thirty is the new twenty. A woman is free to do what she wants as long as she is not going to break any laws, human or divine.

I don’t believe in the idea of I’m too old or It’s too late.

People who tell you it is not possible probably didn’t get to try to fulfill some of their heartfelt wishes. It’s a trap and a cycle that imprisons them. They want to do things in their life but are afraid to do so. They are afraid to step out of their comfort zones. Are you afraid of taking risks?

Don't be.

Life is beautiful that everyday is such a mystery. Expand your horizons and while you're at it, enjoy the ride. If you want to become a doctor at the age of thirty or forty, by all means, do so. Paint your very first masterpiece. Learn new things. Take hold of second chances. Keep old friends close to your heart but try to meet new friends and marvel at the beauty of nature and life.

History shows that great minds don’t see age or circumstances as a hindrance. Just go and take that first step. You'll even surprise yourself and that you can do it like a pro. It’s not too late. Or would you rather contemplate about it on your deathbed?


Life is like a Harley Davidson. If you want it, get it. If you can dream it, you can have it. It's yours for the taking.

In Defense of Bra and Panty

What's the color of your favorite underwear? Is it black, red, purple, blue or abstract?

I was at the mall to buy myself some lingerie yesterday. In my 31 years of existence in this planet, it's the section that I never skip if I want to be entertained. And who wouldn't be? It's like going to the candy store with lots of choices to choose from. Women could choose from the different colors that catches their fancy and suit their discriminating taste.It ranges from the quintessential classic black, fiery red, sweet pink, virginal white, and yes my favorite colors, mystic blue and regal purple.

I was amused as I hold a red thong in my hands. I looked at it with suspicion. Who would wear this? I mused to myself as I scrutinized the flimsy looking. tiny red thong against the light. The sales lady looked at me as if I was a half-crazed woman trying to figure out whether it's something edible or not. It looked like a foreign object to me. I know for sure some women finds it sexy to wear thongs. I, on the other hand is not as adventurous when it comes to it. With bras, yes. I love the wild side of bras. I would probably enlist myself to any lingerie company to try out the latest in bra technology.But with thongs, it's a different story.

As long as I haven't tried it, I wouldn't say no. So for those who doubt the veracity of my statement,for your information, I have tried wearing one before. But yes sweetheart, it felt like there was a worm stuck somewhere.

It's like there's a wiggling creature in the crevices of my butt. It feels funny. It gives me goosebumps, actually.

I know you're laughing but yes, it's true. That was the first and the last time I'm going to wear one.If I would be made to choose between a thong and an invinsible panty a.k.a nothing. I'll be faster than the lightning to say that I'll choose to wear nothing at all. At least it's comfortable and airy. Sorry but I won't sacrifice comfort for fashion. If they could create a thong that doesn't feel like some worm is having a fantastic time exploring my buns, then I'll be glad to buy a dozen and wear them day in and day out. I'll even buy the most outrageous design and try it.

For the meantime, thongs aren't just my thing. Period.

I left the poor red thong to ponder on whose butt she's going to explore in the near future. As I moved on to the next rack, my attention was caught by some dazzling colored underwear. Panties that were embellished with some sort of sequins. There were red and black ones. I began to wonder. Are they really serious with this? Who the hell would wear a panty with sequins unless of course the woman is into some forms of masochism? I looked around if there was a pair. Sequined bras and panties would go well I assume. There was none. So I reckon these panties would be paired with a different bra. M Maybe if I perform pole dancing for my future husband, I would seriously consider buying it. I'm keeping my options open.

I tried to visualize myself wearing the thing.

If I would be a part of a sultan's harem, I'll probably buy something like this. Something fiery red with some black sequins and have it custom made with little bells attach to the hips.On the process,throw in some miniature colored light bulbs,too. Let's just see whether the sultan will not see me. I bet, I'll be the center of attraction during the selection.

I am seriously considering the idea of becoming a consultant for lingerie companies. I can maybe even design something historical. Like maybe a map of Asia strewn across the butt and at the front maybe an emblem of whatever the customer adores so much. The choices are endless. Sky is the limit. This will be good business.

Designers of underwear are very creative. Talk about fashion statement. None compares to this. A few years ago,I saw one which was made of cotton with a very cute looking little pig in front, complete with two ears and adorable eyes. And yes, you're right. A cute little tail was hanging in all its amazing glory at the back. It was not printed. It was a cute waggly tail.

You want attention. You wear this to beach. Let me know what happens next.

I leisurely took my time as I tried to examine every piece that took my fancy.The bras were very nice. There were elegant ones, delicately embroidered with intricate designs and embellished with fine lace. You can go from cheap, to moderately priced, to expensive and very expensive.They were available in a kaleidoscope of colors. It comes in different sizes and flavors if you can call it that way. There's the good, the bad and the ugly. It depends on what mood you are in.

So what is the rule in finding a good bra? Very simple. As they say, a good bra is like the perfect man: good-looking, supportive and will never let you down.

In my case, I would always choose the bold and elegant ones, rolled into one. When I say bold, it should be strong enough to carry my assets, supportive in other words, but elegant enough to make them look very adorable. Sometimes, I also prefer to be brazen. I love lion and leopard inspired designs. It makes me feel like some predator waiting for its prey.Animal instincts on the move. So powerful. Utterly amazing. Roar!!!

If there's one thing I can't understand, it is the fact that why can't we wear our bras outside instead of hiding them. Look at the men's briefs section. Those manly but elegant designs that exudes male sexuality. Like bras and panties, if you ask me, all those fine pieces of men's underwear should be shown to the world. Maybe once a week it would be fine to have a free day. A respite from our structured environment. Imagine your boss, who always terrorizes you, wearing his brief outside. It would be a breath of fresh air, I think. I must admit, too. I am a staunch defender of the idea that Superman was always right. He wore his briefs on the outside.

I can't usually find my shoe size at the ladies department. I got feet. My shoe size would be from 34-35. It's so difficult to find high heeled shoes for me because they're usually a lot bigger than my feet. But when it comes to bras, I marvel at the creativity of our designers. I admire women who are gifted. Well-endowed. But yes, I also admire a woman who couldn't care less whether the size of her breast is comparable to that of a miniature muffin. In this world of size does matter, some women would go through the extremes to give their breasts some extra lift and meat. They think having it well endowed is easy.

Not all the time, my dear.

It can be difficult during that time of the month. It could be scandalous especially when riding a car or jeepney. Whenever my period is coming and it is as if everything swells and aches in my body, I am always tempted to hold my precious assets whenever there's a bump on the road. In times like these, I always have my supportive sisters, bras with underwires. They are always ready for heavy duty.Okay, I would have to be honest. Scrap tempted, I have done it several times actually. I hold them precious assets securely with my two hands when the road ahead is rough and bumpy. Don't give me that look! Of course, I do it discreetly. Though I tell you, it takes a lot of intelligent moves not to attract untoward attention to yourself. For those who are interested on how to do it, just email me.

So if you still think that well endowed women got it easy. Think again.

As I am writing this, my cousin is chanting her favorite mantra. I must! I must! I must increase my bust! I told her to offer some chicken eggs in exchange for prayers of miracle for her 32A bust size. No amount of exercise will give you a whooping increase from 32A to 36B. That's her dream size by the way. She would looked at mine longingly and tell me, she wants to have them, too. Okay, she can borrow mine every MWF but not on Saturdays and Sundays. Those days are my dating days. I don't want to shock my date and make him think I had inflatables instead of real breasts.

Some men wants it big. Some men wants it small. But the question is, what do you want? It's not what they want that defines you as a woman. It's what you want that defines yourself.Nothing fascinates me but to see a woman who struts her stuff with such unmistaken confidence and with a "I couldn't care less attitude." It makes me want to cheer and shout, "You go girl!!!"

I am a firm believer of the idea that I don't need to dress and act like a man when I can be feminine and powerful as a woman.

I admire women who are comfortable with their feminine sexuality. Women who are never afraid to express themselves. Be it innocent, classic, bold or brazen. It defines who they are. If they're satisfied with it, whether it's 32A or 40D, this world is going to be one happy place.

These assets might be heavy at times but nevertheless, I am thankful. I would always be proud to have them. It's a natural gift. Something to be cherished and treasured. A girlfriend of mine told me that when God gave out assets, both of us woke up early and made our way to the front line. We waved our hands tremendously that we received such huge blessings. I couldn't agree more.

Indeed, the early worm catches the boobs.

When Majority Turns Major

I’m certainly no fan of beauty pageants and no, I don’t hate it either.

I sat dazed for a moment when my friends at facebook wrote something on my status about how I forgot my password for my email account. They said it’s a major major problem and I should seek a major major solution.

I was out of touch with the world for quite some time when the hullabaloo over what majority of us called as a major disaster took place. My mind was too busy trying to organize my thoughts for the gender sensitivity trainings that I was about to conduct and it was only two days later that I managed to read the news and I found out what the major problem was.

The most recent experience I had as a judge on one beauty contest confirmed the truth albeit not as grandiose and prestigious as The Miss Universe Beauty Pageant. I was actually amused by some of the questions I had contemplated on asking the contestants. Such as, " If you only have one eyebrow left, where will you put it? Left or right? Why?" Or maybe I could also ask something like, “If you have three hairs left on your head, what do you want to do with it? Will you have it together or separate from each other? Why?”

Of course, that’s just the funny side of me. No,I didn't ask them that.

Venus Raj landed 4th among the 80 candidates and all we could harp for was that she failed to bring home the bacon. And for those who would say that they could have answered the question this way or that way, yes, I know your IQ is above average. But please, spare me from all your claims of superior intelligence.

Fact is, you’re not a candidate for Ms. Universe. Period.

It was too prejudicial for us to hinge our reactions solely on the basis of how she repeatedly used the word “major”. Are we reacting like this because we deem to see it as a major blow to our reputation as good English speakers? Are we afraid that Koreans would stop coming to the Philippines to learn the English language lest we produced major major English speaking Koreans? I guess as Filipinos we always pride ourselves as proficient in the English language. One of the best in this part of Asia, perhaps. However, my major impression is that we are not so observant with the fact that in this part of the world, the Philippines, we have honed the language so as to suit our own purpose.

Let me share with you what happened to my class a few days ago.

We were discussing the relationship of the development of nationalism, imagery and the Filipino intelligentsia in the 19th century. The class was silent as they tried to digest and process the questions I have been throwing at them.

“Rizal sees nationhood as transhistorical. What do we mean with this?” I asked. You could have heard the pin dropped as silence engulfed the room.

One student raised her hand and said “Maam, I’m not so sure but I’ll try. I have a little little idea about it.”

Suddenly, all hell broke loose as her classmates laughed out loud. The student who bravely raised her hand to answer my question turned beet red. She was a Chinese mestiza which all the more heightened the reddening of her cheeks as she nervously laughed with embarrassment along with her classmates.

“I mean I only have a very slight idea about it but I want to try. That’s why I said little little,” she profusely explained.

I smiled.

“No need to explain Miss. I understand what you wanted to convey. Now you know what Venus Raj must have felt when she was trying to answer the question.”

They all nod in agreement.

I’m no self-proclaimed linguist. I have lucid moments wherein sometimes, I can’t even spell the simplest and easiest words anymore. Believe me, we all have moments like these. No sleep, information overload and intellectual indigestion. Put them together and they are a perfect combination for my lucid moments. These are the times that I have to correct myself because my nouns and adjectives don’t agree with each other. My verbs and adverbs are in a state of proverbial love-hate relationship. And I have to check my written work so as not to commit a major laughing stock of myself.

Okay, let’s be bloody about this. If we want to be really strict with it, we are all liable to commit major blunders in the English language.

Case in point. What is a bloodletting activity?

Bloodletting was a historically practiced medical procedure which involved removing a set amount of blood from the veins of a patient for therapeutic purposes. Historically, physicians believed that many illnesses were caused by an excess of blood, and bloodletting was a frequent prescription for a wide range of conditions. It was the most common medical practice performed by doctors from antiquity up to the late 19th century.

This was based on two key concepts: one if blood could not circulate, it could stagnate at the extremities, thus the need for a bloodletting, second, the concept of humoralism. The theory of Humorism goes back to the concept of Hippocratic medicine. It believes that the body is made up of four basic substances, called humors, which are in balance when a person is healthy. All diseases and disabilities resulted from an excess or deficit of one of these four humors. . The four humors were black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, and blood. The blood was believed to be the dominant humor. When a patient was suffering from a surplus or imbalance of one fluid, then his or her personality and physical health would be affected.

Thus bloodletting during those times emerged as an answer to a plethora of medical problems. It is good for asthma, acne, leprosy, tuberculosis, herpes, indigestion and yes, insanity, just to name a few. If this is the case then I think I may need to enlist many of my friends for a bloodletting activity for they have periodic cases of insanity one time or another on their lifetimes. I’m sure they could keep the blood banks in the Philippines busy the whole month or so.

In blood donation, people can get a sense of what therapeutic bloodletting might have been like. However, most blood donors donate less blood than bloodletting would have removed. In the Philippines, donating blood is known to be a bloodletting activity.

At this point, let me ask you. Which one do you prefer? Bloodletting or blood donation?

A lot of factors come in when we try to contextualize everything. Language changes. It's fluid and is never stagnant. The fact also remains that nobody has a monopoly of the English language. And if you don’t agree with me, that’s your major major reaction and it’s your prerogative to do so.

Someone used to tell me that the type of English language that evolved in the Philippines is that of the Americans. That’s why our English is flawed. He said Americans can’t speak good English unlike the British. He comes from a continent that has a long history of British colonization and therefore I can surely understand his reaction. So I bluntly told him, the British are snobs that’s why. He laughed. He got my point.

Venus Raj was attempting to clarify a point. She was trying to emphasize something. We may not be aware of it but some of us may have been unconsciously using the same expression in our everyday conversations. It goes to say that as non-native English speakers, we Filipinos have certain nuances when it comes to speaking the language, a type of language that may not be considered acceptable in the greater English speaking world. If there’s such a world called as greater English speaking world that is..

Venus Raj's answer in totality is maybe, yes, off tangent. She had a chance to correct her mistake but I don't know why, in the end, she faltered. But the criticism was not even on that aspect. Her major major speech caught the world by storm. Well, maybe you can say I am not a perfectionist when it comes to beauty pageants. That's not my forte. But I have to lord it over her. I have every reason to believe that being fourth among the 80 candidates was no easy feat I guess.

We glorify our victories as one nation but in times of mistakes we are least forgiving to our own kind. I guess we too often remember the mistakes more than the victories. The follies of human nature.

I am a Filipina

I am the wife and the virgin
I am the mother and the daughter
I am the arms of my mother
I am barren and my children are many
I am the married woman and the spinster
I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated
I am the consolation of the pain of birth
I am the wife and the husband
And it was my man who created me
I am the mother of my father
I am the sister of my husband
And he is my rejected son
Always respect me
For I am the shameful and the magnificent one……


- 3rd or 4th century B.C., from the Nag Hammadi documents


The poem is an excerpt from the Hymn to Isis. Isis is a prominent goddess in Egyptian mythology. A goddess of rebirth, she remains to be one of the most known images of utter femininity and empowered women. Every inch a woman. Isis embodies the strengths of the feminine, the capacity to feel deeply about relationships, the act of creation, and the source of sustenance and protection.

Beautiful. This was the first thought that came to my mind after reading the Hymn to Isis. Zoe gave the poem to me. Zoe is a friend whose passion for literary works and historical imaginations has given her a special place in my heart. Despite of the thousand miles that separate us, we never fail to keep in touch with each other. With the passage of time our friendship grows like the flower that blooms in the garden. Reminding ourselves that we must continuously live for others to show that life is beautiful despite of everything.

For Joyce, for being a woman like me. Short but meaningful, those simple words of dedication from her made me realize that this friend of mine has come a long way from her journey in life. No longer the uncertain and almost clueless girl that I met during my first year in college, she has emerged from her cocoon like a butterfly in a metamorphosis. I have known her story and I know life hasn't been easy for her. She has earned my admiration not only because she is a good friend but more importantly because she is an example of the few women I know who always stand tall with their head high in times of adversities in life. Never losing the courage and faith in their self and to the Man above.

Well-endowed and beautiful in her long curly hair, she exhibits a picture of femininity that has long earned admiring stares from men. Gentle in character yet she speaks with that great conviction about things that truly matters to her. Family, society and life in general. She has her own mind about almost everything under the sun. She married early but she confessed to have never regretted this decision. She has chosen a different path from us when she decided to marry her knight and forego the chance to be a career woman. When the rest of us are busy pursuing our master's degree and PhD, she is also busy pursuing a different kind of graduate studies, only this time with diapers, teething problems and marital blues. Despite of these things,however, she continues to believe in the beauty of her dreams. After all these years, she has not given up the idea of writing her ideas down and have them published. Tom, her husband, has been supportive all the time. She would often mused that to me. And in times like these I would always smile and just be completely happy for my friend. I guess, she has found her place under the sun.

Women have always held places of honor in ancient history. We have goddesses that personify the attributes of beauty, intelligence and courage. In the days when history was recounted around the family fires, people worshiped a supreme female creator. Beginning with the Neolithic period around 7000 b.c., women, revered as wise, valiant, powerful, just, and immortal, were honored.

They were called by many names, including the Great Goddess, Divine Ancestress, Mother Goddess, Creatress of Life, Mistress of Heaven, Our Lady, and High Priestess.

The female's ability to produce a child made her the object of the male's worship; women were the magical birth-givers and breast-feeders who nurtured the young. These words from Sandra Fold Walston's "Courage: Heart and Spirit of Every Woman", illustrates how some of us today have forgotten the beautiful gift of giving life. Not every woman can actually say that she has the privilege to experience both the pain and joy of giving birth. It is always an honor for a woman to be a mother. I think it is one of the most wonderful personifications of femininity. Zoe and all the women like her have shown that to me.

With a radiant smile on her face, she would always say that being married to a wonderful man and having kids are one of her greatest achievements in life. Now, how many women could actually say that? Because of this she has earned my utmost respect. Maybe she has chosen a different path from mine. But her faith in herself and the way she stands firm with her decisions in life are traits that makes her as a a woman of substance. Zoe is married to an Austrian and this simple fact often becomes the source of discrimination against her. She has often been accused of marrying her husband as a ticket out of poverty. Simply absurd if you ask me. She belongs to a prominent family and is a graduate of a well-respected university in the country. There are people who think (foreigners and sadly yes, Filipinos, too) that Filipino women who are married to foreigners are gold diggers. If I may say, some of us are just ignorant fools.

In the eyes of other people,Zoe is maybe an ordinary housewife. But she’s the best mom any child could wish for and the best wife a man could ever have. I am not saying this because I’m her friend. But her loyalty and devotion to her family is simply amazing. In everything she do, she do it with much love and affection. A fact that brings into mind the importance of family in the Philippine culture. Many women have decided to give up their careers and invest their time and energies in rearing their families. If that is their choice, who are we to question it? If we are proud of those women who made a name for themselves in fields dominated by males, why can't we be equally proud for those who have chosen a different path? I come from the opposite pole but I have never looked down on women who have opted to travel the road to motherhood and exchange their wonderful careers for it.

Sometimes some of us think that a woman could only be successful if she makes a name for herself in areas where men have dominated. Truth be told, yes, this maybe the trend. But there are other ways to show them that we are NOT just sugar and spice and everything nice.

Behind every great woman is herself. In many ways, the phrase captures the essence of being a woman in the Philippine society. At times, it is tough to go against the glass ceilings and having to deal with the multiple burdens. However, I have met quite a number of our own empowered women who were never afraid to go against the grain. Physically, emotionally and spiritually beautiful. Witty. Wise. Empowered. Because of them, I have always been proud to say I am a Filipina. . With all the Filipina mail order brides and porn sites in the internet, I still stand firm to my belief that our women are not just easy on the eyes. We have real brains and character to reckon with. It's not enough for us to say that we are proud to be Pinays. We should act on it. We should walk the talk. Those words become meaningless if other people cannot find something noteworthy about us.

This is not something new. Filipino women are regarded with respect as our history would tell us. Our pre-colonial social structure gave equal importance to maternal and paternal lineage. This bilateral kinship system accorded our women enormous power. Egalitarian relationship existed between the native Filipino men and women. Male and female offspring were both regarded as an important part of the family. Women had an honored position in the society which had been disregarded with the coming of the colonizers.

Like the woman that Isis portrays, women's multiple roles in the society are reflections of their resiliency and flexibility in the face of adversities as well as their power to breathe life and color in this earth. It’s not basically the question of who welds power over whom or who is the stronger sex or what have you. In the end, it all boils down to the concept of making choices that truly empowers an individual. A conscious choice that brings out the best in us and makes us a nation of people who are proud of our women and our culture.

I am a Filipina and I’m proud of it.